Pretense to carry on !!!

This hoax that I carry on, has fooled great many
This path I have chosen is not tread by a grateful lot
do I look for validation, No because the one whose validation I seek is nowhere to be found
and all the faces that I look upon, don't recognize any

I look around me there are people smiling, waiting for me to smile back
I smile back at them always wondering who they are
The voices I have heard before but cannot seem to place a face on them
The small talks I made that are remembered no more

I don't want them to remember me, I love the oblivion
just cant seem to forget moments ... but people  I know no more

I breathe out of lungs, and i recognize this pain
I recognize the emptiness, still can do nothing more

I don't reach out for the fear of being  vulnerable again ..
I cannot be weak in front of others who are out there to hurt me

I wonder how you are, are you okay?  Not because I want you to feel the same
because I once prayed for your happiness and you are a part of my prayers for infinity
I know  am hurt but could wish nothing  but happiness for you
still I feel you are not happy deep inside something I wish I  never felt

The moments we had are a montage, and with us still out there it exists
This normality I search which this soul  might never achieve, but then  one could always carry on with the hoax

I look for things that matter, still nothing matters anymore
I still look for that place you know, aware that down this path I might find it no more
This feelings I have,hold me back, they make me humanly weak
This weakness to embrace, but i don't want to be weak anymore