i KNOW ITS CHEEZY !! BUT YOU KNOW MY LOVE FOR CHEESE N HELLO YOU DESERVE IT !!!

L.O.V.E - I'D be perfectlly honest here .i never understood it ,n i was upto my neck in it at the same time .
i knw evryone has the quotes to describe  love  i have a perfect one for me too d

"LOVE IS EXACTLY LIKE ORANGE , IN ORDER TO GET THE REAL TASTE  YOU HAVE GET RID OF THE REAL

WASTE "

SO then again i say it cn  be wasted , it cn be acquired , it cn fly away , it cn be there somewhere around n
still unknown . one thing is sure that it is somethin way above the suger coated version i got addicted to as
a teenager . maybe bein in love taught me dat or maybe you did !!! this is a dedication to the guy who
grew love in me !! who himslf proclaims that "even if u r a nutcase , moody , stupid ,impulsive brat it wont
stop myself from spoiling you a little more "
                                                   i wont say i saw you n i fell in love wid you ,you totally know dats not
me ... you knw hw much tym it took me to say that i <3 u !! u were n always will be my best frnd  rather
than a soulmate bec a frnd is way above that n u r the best in the lot . you are the one who knows what i m
thinkin , you r the one i cn discuss anythin on the earth with ... u r d one who really listen to my plans ...
you are my support system one tiny hitch n you are there
                                                                       i always thought i was an independent ... practicl girl.
but you showed me another  side of me ... i now knw how dependent i m on you n i still have my freedom
....you showd me how impulsive i m ... u calmed me in a way .... i knw i shout on u at the top of my voice
everytime <ol' habits die hard> ... bt somethin change .. i still love my solitude  but i llo forward to your
company ...... i know this is gettin cheesy !!!
                                           i dnt wish forever togthr < but it dsnt hurt either > but i knw one thing  u r
the most spcl persn in my life rite there with d odr 7 most imp ppl u know !! you r  somone i cn never forget
n hope nver have to!! u r the best frnd  any one would kill for !!! n trust me

 I CAN DO SO TOO !!

ALL I WISH IS YOU ACHIEVE WHAT U DESERVE N REACH WHAT YOU DESIRE !!!

GOOD LUCK !!!

what do i want ??

I never gave much thought to what i want from life . NO wait a second i think about it all bloody time , but still dont have any clue whatsoever . then again do i ever have any ?? .  I ask myself what next then i m like " as life takes me 'cause what i plan never works out "
                                                      Again when i say i m clueless  i don't mean "TOTALLY "clueless bonkers n all . it more like "i know what i want " but  the problem lies in " i exactly don't know what i want "
.well then again everything gets so confusing when it comes to my wants and needs and to comprehend them is really " not my cup of tea".
                                 i want be "super busy " 5 yrs down the line  . By that i mean i don't have time to eat , drink or sleep .i would like to be like well if u prefer it a "ZOMBIE" .all i think  'bout is the time when "work " is going to be the first and last priority up my list . Then i want money , its never bad to have some ?? , it never hurts if u get some extra .All i mean is it's important , extremely important .
                                                  I am a dreamer ,i dream a lot , i dare , i work hard , i work hard to achieve but i don't have any idea what happened to me over the years . i fear i might be losing the "SPUNK " in my soul . that was something that defined me . I might find myself unknown to "what exactly do i want ??" from anything be it my regular snack , relationship with people  or in a generalized term  LIFE.
                              "LIFE" again is a huge word . a word that weighs u down , makes you realize the seriousness  of various situations . the situations that you have no control over . i lyk this so called "life" piece by piece as a slice of an enormous cake  i just dont want the whole bloody cake . But then again its me who has to eat it all up , 'cause if i don't it  goes stale .
                                I want stability  but staleness . stability is  an essential for a mind like mine . but   then again i dont want to ponder over the pros and cons of my decisions .I want to be impulsive , i want to make mistakes . I want to be the same old self . d part of me i loved the most , which i have lost during the years .
                         I know "CHANGE" is important  but i want to change for good . i dnt want to stampeded by these very changes in me . i want to learn everything the world has to teach me to dance , to sing , different cultures , understand people . i want to talk different languages .
                            I want to read , want to read it all . I want to read about things i feel about , issues i care about , stuff i think about .
                       i want to travel A LOT  see places i always wanted  to fr so long . places i  imagined myself visiting  for years
       Then again "i know what i want " but m unsure if THIS IS IT . I m not making any plans , i m never good at them , they never turn up fine . so whenever  i talk "LIFE" i say i never give it much thought . but deep down i know i m lying  . being a liar i know i m doing the right thing in not disclosing what i want  because it doesn't matter , it never did and it never would  what matters is what i "GET' and how i deal with the fact i have to enjoy it , live it all out happily content , never feeling the twitch that this is not what i bargained my life for
                                    I don't  believe in taking small steps up the ladder . i dance nd i want to go ahead  just like any other roadtrip dancing to the tunes life plays for me . i wanna do that until i reach the "DEAD END"   

                    Maybe  this is  " EXACTLY WHAT I WANT "

smthin i cn never name ..................

when u seem to be livin in an illusion
life is nothing but a big confusion
when you spend your life thinkin that everything is nice
u realise that everything is not perfect either wrong shape or wrong size
 i tried my best to make things better
but i dont knw why ppl dont understand wats the matter
they really wait for these dreams to shatter

i dont know if u cannt understand me dere is something called shut your mouth !!!

i don't know what i m writing or for the sake of it what i m writing . when things cloud up inside your head maybe that is exactly how one must feel . i know i am always sad gloomy every day its getting worse nothing seem to work or i guess nothing will ill pick up my pen vent out my anger and burn it then cry my eyes out all alone
its not a matter of love ,seriously before  anyone pass judgement about a stupid girl with broken heart scenario
i have seen so many jerks in my life that i don't really give a damn bout this stupid love anymore its been ages since i thought about it until now .
                                       the exact problem may be the fact how everyone is so focussed on somethin which is of no good , how i m always misunderstood  nobody seems to understand me even for the heck of it . i knw i m clueless but that doesn't make me dumb .people being judgemental  about each and every other thing , i hate all of it . i hate it when i give my hundred prcnt to aperson and in return i get nothin infact i m treated lyk a child . how i m accussed of being untalkable , how i m hurt so easily as if wont make any difference i wonder would it really matter if a calamity occurs in d world or pluto cause ill b d one to blame for it  and then would be accused of not takin criticism seriously . man i call u ppl jerks for doin it to me . i call u insensensitive for not carin bout sm1's feelings .but above all if u cannot understand me admit it rather than tryin to create some fake version in your mind <if u do dat its entirely your call > and treating me accrdin to dat  cause dats not me and really people it hurts !!!!

time to contemplate

confussions .... i wish thm clearer

i m here back again
but still smthin is amiss
there is no silent noise in d rain
i evn cnnot enjoy dis bliss
d pain it gave me 2 b near dere
was better thn this uneasiness here
i wanted the numbness to evry bitter word of yours
i wanted to tear down the memories of u sayin those
i m living or i m half dead
i wish if  i had d rite to have a say on everythin said 

sometimes i think of d days dat went by

revisiting those places
again n alone
give me a strange sense ..... a sense i cn never define
its sometin i always avoided n someting dat creeps into my head every single time
it give me creeps that d best days of my life were spent here and now i  m her to avoid very memory of those
i might b blabberin, makin no sense , but i knw it could give my thots a rest
.....................
i wish u were here near me... i wish u were around ....i wish i could hear all dat  unknown sound
i wnt ask u to cme back
i wont ask u to b here
i wont ask u to be anywhr near
leave me to myself  .. n please dnt look back
dats not wht i need frm u ...leave me to myself cause dat is smthin with whch i wud heal !!