Pretense to carry on !!!

This hoax that I carry on, has fooled great many
This path I have chosen is not tread by a grateful lot
do I look for validation, No because the one whose validation I seek is nowhere to be found
and all the faces that I look upon, don't recognize any

I look around me there are people smiling, waiting for me to smile back
I smile back at them always wondering who they are
The voices I have heard before but cannot seem to place a face on them
The small talks I made that are remembered no more

I don't want them to remember me, I love the oblivion
just cant seem to forget moments ... but people  I know no more

I breathe out of lungs, and i recognize this pain
I recognize the emptiness, still can do nothing more

I don't reach out for the fear of being  vulnerable again ..
I cannot be weak in front of others who are out there to hurt me

I wonder how you are, are you okay?  Not because I want you to feel the same
because I once prayed for your happiness and you are a part of my prayers for infinity
I know  am hurt but could wish nothing  but happiness for you
still I feel you are not happy deep inside something I wish I  never felt

The moments we had are a montage, and with us still out there it exists
This normality I search which this soul  might never achieve, but then  one could always carry on with the hoax

I look for things that matter, still nothing matters anymore
I still look for that place you know, aware that down this path I might find it no more
This feelings I have,hold me back, they make me humanly weak
This weakness to embrace, but i don't want to be weak anymore

Almost Lovers

We know each other for a while now , you know me how I go about things
We are more than friends , but not in love . It's as uncomplicated in my head as it could be

I could call you my closest friend but that my dear would be a lie .
I would have called you a lover but giving it that name I won't ever try

I am there for you in the worst of times , in the best there are many to be surrounded by
we have the sweetest thing for each other , isn't it great anyway then why on me this pressure to define

The things we experienced in the short span of time , the knowledge we have about life and flimsy things
we never talk about them for the white noise we enjoy

You understand the sparkle in the eyes , the broken smiles  the  agony of the lost hope
i understand  your urge to know me , knowing I would show no more .

I hope for us to enjoy the moment , I hope we give each other good memories
I am there for you when you are sad 'bout things but giving you pain is never on my mind

I never want to know more than you you want to tell , this rule yes I did define
the music you like i might not but still i could give that a try

I like what we are now , I dont want the clock to run by
for i don't want what we have to end .. I just don't think I should define

But on your insistence I know what we are ..
apart from the fact we are both broken and damaged who survived

Almost Lovers is what we are
And that is what I want for this time ......