I WISH i could scream out the words at some point !!

i sit and wonder sometimes , when is it okey to let go ... when it is ok to say those words ... words you fear would change the dynamics of people around you .... when exactly is the time that you decide that now you have to say something , no matter how hard the words are , no matter you are thrown into the pool of uncertainity right after the words leave your mouth
             what baffles me even more is why do we decide against sayin things , expressing feelings ..is it the fear of having a self obsessed audience or is there a fear that nobody will ever trust you
          when i was a kid , i always thought that words ... the big or the small ones are beautiful i loved the sound of the things around me , as i grew i read a lot of them .... but now when i have to say i am at a loss of words i have nothing to say even if i have to and that is something i dont understand
         mayebe i dont trust words any more ... i hate them , i hate the consequences .. i hate that they might bring out my secrets .. i hate that i might give away more about myself ........or it could be otherwise ... there are words that act as a shield ..the senseless ramble .. a mask , to hide your true self ...but then in the end it's the words that change things around you
                             
 

 i know how much i might loathe it ........ there would always be words i wish i said Out Loud !!!