Sunday, 1 May 2011

what do i want ??

I never gave much thought to what i want from life . NO wait a second i think about it all bloody time , but still dont have any clue whatsoever . then again do i ever have any ?? .  I ask myself what next then i m like " as life takes me 'cause what i plan never works out "
                                                      Again when i say i m clueless  i don't mean "TOTALLY "clueless bonkers n all . it more like "i know what i want " but  the problem lies in " i exactly don't know what i want "
.well then again everything gets so confusing when it comes to my wants and needs and to comprehend them is really " not my cup of tea".
                                 i want be "super busy " 5 yrs down the line  . By that i mean i don't have time to eat , drink or sleep .i would like to be like well if u prefer it a "ZOMBIE" .all i think  'bout is the time when "work " is going to be the first and last priority up my list . Then i want money , its never bad to have some ?? , it never hurts if u get some extra .All i mean is it's important , extremely important .
                                                  I am a dreamer ,i dream a lot , i dare , i work hard , i work hard to achieve but i don't have any idea what happened to me over the years . i fear i might be losing the "SPUNK " in my soul . that was something that defined me . I might find myself unknown to "what exactly do i want ??" from anything be it my regular snack , relationship with people  or in a generalized term  LIFE.
                              "LIFE" again is a huge word . a word that weighs u down , makes you realize the seriousness  of various situations . the situations that you have no control over . i lyk this so called "life" piece by piece as a slice of an enormous cake  i just dont want the whole bloody cake . But then again its me who has to eat it all up , 'cause if i don't it  goes stale .
                                I want stability  but staleness . stability is  an essential for a mind like mine . but   then again i dont want to ponder over the pros and cons of my decisions .I want to be impulsive , i want to make mistakes . I want to be the same old self . d part of me i loved the most , which i have lost during the years .
                         I know "CHANGE" is important  but i want to change for good . i dnt want to stampeded by these very changes in me . i want to learn everything the world has to teach me to dance , to sing , different cultures , understand people . i want to talk different languages .
                            I want to read , want to read it all . I want to read about things i feel about , issues i care about , stuff i think about .
                       i want to travel A LOT  see places i always wanted  to fr so long . places i  imagined myself visiting  for years
       Then again "i know what i want " but m unsure if THIS IS IT . I m not making any plans , i m never good at them , they never turn up fine . so whenever  i talk "LIFE" i say i never give it much thought . but deep down i know i m lying  . being a liar i know i m doing the right thing in not disclosing what i want  because it doesn't matter , it never did and it never would  what matters is what i "GET' and how i deal with the fact i have to enjoy it , live it all out happily content , never feeling the twitch that this is not what i bargained my life for
                                    I don't  believe in taking small steps up the ladder . i dance nd i want to go ahead  just like any other roadtrip dancing to the tunes life plays for me . i wanna do that until i reach the "DEAD END"   
                    Maybe  this is  " EXACTLY WHAT I WANT "

1 comment:

  1. It's just a matter of time before you figure it out ;) ! And once you're done with that, there is no stopping you :D :)

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